April 3: Message

Behind the tapestry; Traces of elsewhere


Behind the tapestry

Did you think to soothe my conflicted heart with silence, when
the niche behind the tapestry was left bare? Was it something
I had upset you with, a wound too deep to sear away
with the secrets entwined around our joined hearts? How
have we finished, when we had only just begun? Or
had we finished the moment we first met
beneath that web of enchantment cast upon us by
a cool eve or two, filling our parched souls with quiet talks
that meant more… or so I thought, till my fingers touched
only stone, my eyes staring into that of an obscure lord kneeling
stiff-faced over his hunt… lifelike, yet as oblique in reality
with its fanciful game and strange visions of nature – just as
what we once were, and I wonder if we are finally
as obsolete as this tapestry…

The melodies of our dances strum so bitterly in my mind,
hallways of my soul shaking to the deep rumble of distress—
I confess, I had always thought that this place would remain
untouched by the troubles of our lives, yet
that niche says it all…

When we strolled in the gardens with small smiles
that held encrypted feelings barely at bay, when I was
promised heart and soul to a different path, your despair
was a wrenching beacon of loyalty that drew me
as a moth to a flame, and though we grew cold
to the eyes of the world, your secret words kept me steady—
perhaps we were simply not ready to face the truth of
never belonging as we wished, enamored for a fleeting moment
of pure fantasy, our magic a respite
from what we were truly meant to be: the last words in a requiem
of our entanglement, and finally
a dusty silence to fill a crack in the wall
that separates us now in both body and soul…

The melodies of our quiet glances burn so cold in my mind,
the stairways of my heart crumbling to never reach the sun—
I thought that I had kept you safe from the treachery inside,
worming its way through desires and needs that bleed from the heart
I could never quite open nor hide… nor promise to your eyes.

Your letters spoke of a devotion I am bereft of,
beseeching me not to throw you away, yet you accepted
the day I said I could not turn from what I had wrought,
you accepted that we were both play pieces in a mist of dreams:
never real, but just as haunting as though true words had
escaped our lips when we said there was more to this—
and even as we drifted away, I came to that tapestry
day by day, and found your letters, quilled in anguish and in hope—
till one day, there was nothing for me behind the tapestry but stone.


April 3, 2014

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Traces of elsewhere

I saw it in your eyes, a deep meaning from elsewhere, I thought and
said as much: a flicker of something you deny is real, no matter what I say,
but it was there; and when you left in uncertainty, the look was gone, and,
crestfallen, I kept searching on…

I walked in a garden sparkling with soft lights dappled with shadows, and
there I saw movement in the sky – an unveiling – and, looking into
the radiance of the moon, I saw it there, etched: a few words from a place
disconnected, hidden in folds of memory at which my heart leapt…

I found myself locked inside a metaphor, luxuriating in paper texture,
my eyes suddenly reading lines that seemed misplaced, and I knew it to be
another glimmer of that secret place from whence I was ripped: a voice
spoke it into my ear, and I felt knowing settle just as you slipped near…

I saw it in your eyes again, for the first time: a repetition, and I knew that,
cut loose from mortal strings in that otherworld where we began, I knew
you had truly joined me, a lover lost and come again, come for me
across the seas of time and the veils of mortality…

I was in your arms, head spinning in disbelief, when my eyes were snatched,
and the leaves sprinkled with a mirthful breeze spoke in their rustling voice:
lore was never buried deep, and when his words of distant love failed, when
the patterns of life did not draw my eyes: he stopped sending, and simply came.


April 3, 2014

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